“Anytime we try and fail, we learn something that can benefit us in the future if we won’t give up. -Joyce Meyer”
“I honestly think it is better to be a failure at something you love, than a success at something you hate!- George Burns”
FINE means this:
F: FREAKED OUT
SALT Jesus says: we are to be the salt of the earth.
S: SEE the person as God sees them
A: ACCEPT the person as God accepts them
L: LOVE the person as God loves them
T: TREAT the person as God wants us to treat them
Doing the same thing, over and over, expecting a different result.
- Lower expectations of everyone around me.
- Stop expecting anything, from anyone, except what God gives me.
- The ‘feelings bucket’ I need to have filled I will get from my friends, my church, and my family; ie. Friendship, going places, deep relationships, talk about my feelings.
- Forgive Ray, and ask for his forgiveness of me, for putting such a weight on him to be all I need. I cannot be all he needs, any more than he can be for me. My needs are: LAWS
L: unconditional LOVE A: acceptance W: worth S: security
I have cast out a big fishing line. The large weight and line has a huge hook on the end. It has been plunged in your mouth and I have been snatching it every time I did not get my needs met. It is not up to you to make me happy. It is up to me! God can give me unconditional love, acceptance, I know how much I am worth to HIM, and HE is my true security.
Please forgive me, for putting all this stress on you!! I hereby let you off the line, and I will not, from here on out, place any demands on you!!
I have talked and talked trying to MAKE you hear me. It is not your fault you cannot! A fish, with a hook in his mouth, cannot hear a thing, nor does it care.
The only way I can see living in this situation is to do ONE of TWO things. ONE would be to Leave. TWO would be what I have to do so I can be happy and get my needs met. I do not intend to spend the next twenty years making myself sicker. The only way I can see me staying and being happy is by the following:
#1. I am going to open a separate banking account, and savings account, so I can have my own money in that account. This would make me feel more secure if I had SOME money of my own.
#2. I will come and go as I please. I will tell you, at all times, where I am and when you can expect me home.
#3. I do not want a separation. I am too old to start over. However, that may not be what you want.
#4. I will always be here for you, if you let me know your needs. I have always tried to be there for you, in all things, but I cannot read your mind, nor do I aim to start trying now.
I ask for forgiveness and I so forgive.
Jesus did forgive me, even when I was so full of sin. If I don’t forgive, how can I have a full relationship with God? I can’t! I can’t have a relationship with anyone if I don’t have firm boundaries of who I am, what I need, and where I want to be in one year, five years, ten years and at my death. Only God knows how long I have to live, but I know what I need to be happy. This letter just lists it all. I do not expect anything from YOU. I am stating FACTS!!