Tag Archive | the abyss

Standing on an Abyss

When things start to happen in our lives, and we feel we have NO control over any of it, we have to remember; we don’t have control over ANYTHING, if our lives belong to Christ. He is our master and we belong to HIM.


My life has been on a whirlwind run the past few months. I could go into intimate detail of what has happened, but I will tell you three things I am thankful for first.

#1. I am thankful for all of my good friends. Those are the ones I could call on, NO MATTER WHAT, and they would come to me, if they were able to get to me. Christine Freeman, Linda Hayes, Cleta Halverson, Bonnie Jacks, and my sisters Deloris Riddle and Denise Moseley.

#2. I am thankful for my son, Jaye Speaks. Without him, I would not be the person I am today. I would like to think I would be his friend, even if I was not his mother.

#3. I am thankful I still have a mind I can use. I am thankful God has given the gift of writing so I can express how I feel, and other people can see my through my words. And I appreciate the fact I can take pictures and express myself through my pictures. I appreciate the fact I love good music, of all kinds.

What I feel the most stressed over now?

#1. The fact Ray will not hear what I have to say, and want to listen.

#2. That Ray won’t have a time with me where we are intimate, study the bible, and pray together.

#3. Do something for each other that builds each other UP, rather than tear down!!

What type flower do you see yourself years ago, now and in five years from now?

!. years ago: a gotcha vine

2. Now: a peony, layers on layers with greenery at the bottom, heavy and full of weight, but eager to be full; Needs holding up sometimes but pink, white and smells good. Really pretty!!

3. 5 years from now: on a Large Arch, a Confederate Jasmine. a perennial

year-round plant that comes back each year stronger and larger than it was the year before and it looks good better every year. Cut it back and it still comes back each year even better!!

What do you do to make you better Anxiety and/or Depression wise?

1. Walk outside to the Koi pond

2. Listen to music

3. Go out to lunch with friends

I have no idea what is going to happen with my life in the coming months. I am hanging on by a thread. Say prayers for me. There is no ‘us’ any more!



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